Mangia Paleo-Hope Warrior

On Wednesdays we meet warriors. This idea of sparking a little more hope in the world isn’t just something I can always find from within myself. I’ve found that the spark grows more when there are others out there you can draw inspiration from, relate to, who provide a sense of humor, a little support and a whole lot of light when you’re reaching for the stars in the darkness.
Laura and I were diagnosed with ulcerative colitis close to the same time, and her Instagram (@mangiapaleo – follow her!) account displaying how she was using food as medicine to fight her disease into remission was so reassuring to me. Plus she displays the best sense of humor and doesn’t hide about the difficulties and frustrations the disease can cause. When we could laugh about poop together, even through cell phone screens and laptops hundreds of miles apart, I knew I had found an IBD (inflammatory bowel disease) family member. I wouldn’t have gotten through my hospital stay with a good attitude and faced recovery without having her cheers and healing vibes.
So meet Laura, a true IBD Warrior. She has some great recipes and info about ulcerative colitis on her blog as well!

@mangiapaleo

What’s the number one thing you’ve learned about yourself since your diagnosis?

I’ve learned that I am more resilient than I would have ever known. It also surprised me that I took a negative diagnosis and turned it into something that, hopefully, instills inspiration and strength in others.

I think you definitely do that with all of your efforts. When were you diagnosed?
March 2013

What are your current medications/what lifestyle changes have you made to treat your IBD?
Immediately after my diagnosis I began the paleo diet lifestyle. My diet excludes grain, gluten, dairy, legumes, sugar and anything processed. I am currently taking a maintenance drug but do not believe it contributes positively to my health-or at all. *shrug* My diagnosis was just last spring, so I’m still experimenting with what I can and can’t eat or do with my ulcerative colitis.

How do you keep your mental health intact while dealing with the symptoms/changes from the disease?

A huge part of why I stay strong is my accountability from my blog. I feel a sense of purpose when I post new recipes or health information. Upon being diagnosed I also believe I was given an obligation to raise awareness and help others in their journey. Being an advocate for IBD is a reminder that I am in control of my disease and that my diagnosis brought me to a healthier way of living.

What do you struggle with the most? What are you doing to overcome it?

My independence is something I really value, but I can get lonely occassionally. My friends and famiy have been an amazing support, but sometimes you just want someone to surprise-pack a healthy lunch for your or ask how your day was and give you a hug when you come home.
Having IBD is one of those diseases where it is easy to seclude yourself and believe that no one understands what you are going through. But I have overcome that by speaking out about it.
Since I have been very open, honest and candid about my disease I have met some amazing people through my journey. You’d be surprised how many people/acquaintances in your life have Crohn’s an colitis!

Any advice for the newly diagnosed?

I have 3 pieces of advice:
Even though you may not feel like it, you are in control. You own your body.
Do your research on health and nutrition.
Talk about it. Raise awareness and help the average person better understand our illness. It’s a great way to build a network of support, too.

Rules to live by?
Always bite your tongue when you hear someone without IBD tell you they have a stomach ache. Oh, and eat clean and get plenty of sleep!

Quote you turn to when you need to be uplifted:
“Every day may not be goo, but there is something good in every day.”

Love it! Musice/Song: “Three Little Birds”- Bob Marley
I also have a short Spotify playlist called “IBD Flare.”

Go to snack when flaring: Bone broth and roasted carrots with turmeric and ginger.

Activity that lifts your spirits: Cooking, CrossFit, and doing anything outside in beautiful weather.

Your philosophy/mantra that you’d like others to know about you:
I always keep my sense of humor.

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Hope in Being a Warrior

“I am not the victim of the world I see.” 

-A Course In Miracles

 

I haven’t posted much in the last week because I was scared I’d start delving into the negative instead of staying above the water. I refuse to become a victim of this disease. I would rather be a survivor. But it’s been challenging this last week. So I’m going to acknowledge these negatives as what they are, and move on. Ignoring them is not good, and dwelling on them doesn’t do anything either. So bear with me as I exhale and let out what’s been going on this last week. I promise it will end on a light note.

 I had one full day of work on Wednesday but was unable to attend any of the other days since last Thursday when I left because I almost had an accident. I work in a call center and if I have a sense of urgency, it’s not simply so easy to run to the bathroom when someone is on the other line and you can’t place them on hold. In that instance, I made it but I went home immediately after. I’m scared for Monday. I’m starting to feel a little better and the bathroom trips are lower, but it still scares me. It felt like failure. I’m a good worker. I can do my job well, and I know I have opportunities for advancement. But I have to take time away for myself to heal, and because I am incapable to doing my job fully while I’m flaring. It felt like weakness. Aside from the embarrassment of letting it all go with a coworker in the stall next to you. But I’m pretty much over that. Judge me, please. At this point, grossing someone out from the symptoms of my disease is barely a blip on my radar. Yeah, I’ll blush and be embarrassed, but I would never wish this on them. So let them think whatever they so chose.  

This is the first time I have ever been this sick. There has been blood in the toilet for the last year, but the bleeding and cramping and weight loss and sever flare has never occurred until these last 3 weeks. So the reality of it all has hit.  I have an autoimmune disease. My body attacks itself, in my case my large intestine which causes it to inflame and creates bleeding ulcers. I have a leaky gut and my body is having a hard time absorbing nutrients. I’m on hospital watch until this Thursday, if I show any declining further in health I am to go straight to the emergency room. Talk about scary stuff. And the steroids that I tried so hard to avoid are part of my hope in healing. My back and hips ache like I have the flu and I look like a ghost. However, the emotions are not as bad as I thought they would be, so far at least. I cry at commercials, or songs, but I haven’t over-reacted or had any rage attacks. I cried for a good thirty minutes the other day, but I would call those legitimate tears at the frustration of this disease, not steroid induced. 

I haven’t been able to get out and do anything much beyond going to the grocery store for toilet paper and soup bones or going to my moms. I’m scared to go out further in public because my auto immune system is shot. My roommate has been sneezing and I’ve been spraying lycsol on every surface I can find. I’m terrified that a cold will send me to the ER. I had to cancel tea with friends for the same reasons, also due to the fact that I need to be near a bathroom at all times. Or at least near enough to run to it. Like I could run. My weight hasn’t been this low since middle school. My boyfriend says you can’t see it, but he can feel it when he hugs me. Just a little more bones. 

So, what do you do when you look in the mirror and just see a sick person looking back at you?

You see something else. 

Yes. I have an autoimmune disease. But I am more than my disease. 

I am strong. This disease will not keep me down because I am a fighter and I will keep getting back up. 

How am I fighting? 

I’m resting. I’m reflecting. I’m researching. I’m accepting. I’m changing. 

I took the time I needed from work to allow my body to heal and to avoid as much stress as possible. This is not weakness like I wanted to think originally. This is empowerment. I acknowledged that my body was not capable in that moment, and took the time away to allow it to heal as much as possible. This will allow me to come back and continue to do my job well instead of making myself worse. This is okay. 

When I was told that I am on hospital watch, it was shocking. I knew I was sick, but hadn’t really accepted it until that point. After being sent straight to the lab for testing, I went home and did a little reflecting on myself. This is real. I’ve made some adjustments over the last year to deal with this disease, but at this point, I need to say goodbye to my old lifestyle and start opening my heart to a new one. I spent that evening praying. Perhaps this is my second chance to do whatever it is that I’m supposed to do while I’m here. Perhaps this is my reminder that I’m here to share love with the world. It’s my second chance to do what I was made for. To fulfill a purpose. Perhaps the path I’m taking is the wrong one and I need to hop off of it for a while. Perhaps there are many better things waiting for me to discover. 

So, I’m making some small changes and doing a lot of reflecting. i’m saying goodbye to the things that don’t serve me any more. To taking days for granted.  And I’m saying hello to good health, to love, laughter and happiness. I’m saying goodbye to being a victim, and I’m saying hello to being a warrior. I know this won’t be easy. It will take constant effort to remind myself that I am more than this disease. I am not just an ulcerative colitis patient. I am a young woman who enjoys being with friends and family, practicing yoga, helping others, playing and snuggling her dog, reading, writing, exploring, learning and so many more things she doesn’t know about yet. And yes, I happen to also be battling an autoimmune disease. . 

How do you keep your disease from defining you?

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