Gratitude 

My husband and I are taking off for Thanksgiving weekend and exploring the Upper Peninsula. Our car is loaded up with snacks, snowpants and blankets. The dog is curled up next to me in the passenger seat and I’ve got a thermos of coffee still hot from 6 am. 

I have so much to be thankful for this year, and in the spirt of Thanksgiving I’ve spent the last month trying to make myself more aware of those things. It is so easy to get wrapped up in what isn’t going as I had planned and to forget about what I’ve been blessed with. 

I’m taking this weekend away from social media, away from blogging and away from it all. Disconnecting in order to reconnect with what is truly important. 

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and that it reminds you to stop for a moment. Stop worrying, rushing, stressing, wasting and just be in the moment. Be with the people you love, in spirit or in person. Look around you. Notice the smells, the sounds, the temperature .  There is good stuff to find, I promise. The holidays can bring out some of the worst in us sometimes, but try not to let the pressure the season brings steal your joy. Stay focused on the good. Enjoy yourself. With chronic illness we don’t always know what’s going to come next, and life sure isn’t easy. Choose to make the most of it. Choose to be grateful. Choose to find hope in those stressful moments. 

Have a wonderful weekend. Thanks for being a part of this community  

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Gratitude Challenge: Day 3-Fill Up My Cup

I would be a liar if I said I didn’t stress easily. I get stressed quickly when things are not in order or if life feels out of my control. Just a few hours ago I felt my blood pressure rise because I couldn’t get the tinfoil roll to fit in the drawer (first of all, why do they make tinfoil rolls to long to fit in a kitchen drawer?! What the fork.) and I was simultaneously freaking out because I haven’t finished packing and have to leave in the morning and forgot to get some extra snacks for the plane because I have this irrational fear that I won’t be able to find anything to eat. No major problems, but this kind of stuff can have the ability to ruin my night if I let it.

Ugh. Stress. Sweating the little things drains my spirit, and I let it happen far to often.  My husband rarely stresses like I do, and when he does it is usually warranted. He’s constantly trying to get me to “shake it off” literally by doing crazy arm waving moves and “shaking away” my stress.

I try to work on not letting things get to me. I really do. I know that stressing over all of these things that really don’t need to be stressed over  wears down my body and doesn’t contribute to healing or any sort of healthy lifestyle. I’m a work in progress.

Part of my self-care includes sitting down with a hot beverage and just sipping. It used to be hot water with lemons in the mornings, and that was awesome. Lately it’s been hot cider at night after dinner, and that’s great too. Something about a warm drink in a cute coffee mug fills my soul with comfort. It’s like with each sip some of that stress melts away, and I wonder why I was ever freaking out about the too junky junk drawer or whatever little thing that doesn’t matter in the first place.

 

What fills your cup?

 

Hope in Paper Flowers

I’m getting married in June.
At my recent doctors appointment, my PCP asked , “So, you’re working full time, planning a wedding yourself, trying to stay healthy, workout and stay in remission all at the same time? Aside from every other life task,  am I missing anything?”
No, Dr. Miller. You’ve got it.
It’s overwhelming sometimes  managing your own care and trying to have a life at the same time. I’m constantly checking in with my body and asking myself a million questions about my physical and mental state. It’s like one of those questionnaires at the doctor :
Any bleeding today?
How many glasses of water did you drink?
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
And then, add the wedding planning on top of that…
When are we meeting with the officiant?
Are we having a brunch?
Where will we buy our wedding bands?
How can I pay for this and pay my medical bills too?
And add on top of that all of the other stresses that come with planning a wedding (future in laws, bridal party organizing, pressure from outside sources to fit a certain mold etc etc etc) I could go on and on but I think you get the point.

It’s hard.

Over the next few weeks I’m sharing what I’ve been doing to manage my autoimmune disease and get this wedding how my fiancé and I want it to be, simple, beautiful, and about us. (Duh). If you aren’t planning a wedding but just living your life with with a chronic illness these tips may still be able to help. They are tidbits of what I’ve found to help me along the way.

1. Do what you can, when you can. It will be enough.

I don’t know how many times I’ve repeated this little mantra to myself over the past few months. I know a lot of people with chronic conditions fight a feeling of guilt when they aren’t able to accomplish all of the things “normal” people seem to be able to do.
Folks, none of us have super powers. Even so-called normal people.
Sometimes you decide you don’t give a flying pigeon about having real flowers and fake flowers are just fine. Or you decide you don’t want a brunch the day after the wedding to your MIL’S dismay because it is just too much work and too exhausting to even think about. It’s okay.
Some days you’re crossing items off your to do list  (one of many) like it’s your job. And some days the most work you get done is venting to your bridesmaids. Sometimes its looking at your bank account and saying, I can’t do anything this week.
All of this is okay.
Repeat it.
It is okay.
Do what you can.
A lot of the time all I can do is take old romance novels and cut the pages into squares and fold them into flowers. It costs me nothing, I think they’re pretty, and it goes with our wedding theme. You might have to get creative on what you can do some days. Some ideas on what you can do when you feel like you can’t do anything:
*Breathe. Seriously. Focus on inhaling and exhaling. It works.
*Pet your dog (or cat) or stuffed animal or heck even a rock if that’s your thing.
*Write in your journal.
*Watch Netflix
*Make lists.
*Color.
*Sleep.
*Listen to music.
*Call/text a friend
*browse Pinterest
Etc. Etc. Etc.

  Whatever it is, know that it is enough.

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There’s a lot of pressure sometimes from what other people think you should be doing. I’ll touch more on this later on, but for now, just know, whether you’re planning a wedding or just trying to get through the day while your body is raging war against itself, whatever you are doing is enough. Really, it is.